Connections

All we as people want to do is to be loved, feel special. One way to feel special is to connect with one another. I was doing some extensive writing tonight and I came across this thought as I pondered my connections with family and friends.

To connect with someone for me means taking an active, listening interest into what a person is talking or writing about. Like this note for example. Also for instance, if a sportswriter writes about Brett Favre and his retiring drama, says Brett is a diva. You can connect to that person, make that relationship, actively listen to his or her point of view and then make a counterpoint or just listen. Just listening can connect you to another. It's a great thing to just listen. We have 2 ears and 1 mouth, use them proportionately.

Taking this a step further, think about your relationships that you have today, at work, at the gym, on the courts or with your friends you hang out with. How actively are you listening? How do you connect with them? How much do you really know about them?

I personally got to thinking about this with my family and connecting to them as I was writing tonight. I thought of it this way. What topic could I introduce to 1 of them to where they would talk endlessly and passionately about that? I really didn't know that answer to be honest with 1 lone exception. It's not about their job, not about their favorite sports team or the like. It is about what they are passionate about, even if it is politics. I know that's a tough subject for some and it becomes emotional. However, I do see passion there. I would avoid that as it can get ugly. Hopefully you understand my point.

I bet as you read this, some of you know enough about me to know what subject will light me up like a Christmas tree. The point here is, I have that and I believe we all have that. This goes back to the active listening.

Years ago, I was a paper pusher at a bank in Omaha. We had a year end celebration dinner for the team that I worked on because we had a heavy workload that year and executive management wanted to thank us. Our senior leader, reporting to the board of the bank took us all out. Before this, he had one person go around and take pictures of the whole team, 1 by 1, but their names on the back (this was before digital technology). We got to the party and he knew us by name, talked to us personally and engaged us as team members. I never forgot that lesson. Indeed, he used advanced scouting but he took that information and memorized 20 or so names and faces. I catalogued that in the back of my brain as something I needed to do.

I leave you with this thought process as you see family and friends throughout the holidays find ways to actively listen to them and catalogue it somewhere important. After that dinner party, go home and write down a few tidbits about them on an index card. You will be surprised in the results this will get you. I could litter this note with names and tidbits I have collected over the years. My mental card catalogue my not be perfectly organized but trust me, I use it. I use it because I love making people feel special.

Modern day version of this as I use facebook and twitter, I notice things about people and catalogue them for later. I can tell you anecdotes about celebrities, my friends and others. I make the mental card catalogue to help myself. Social media can make you actively listen even more and make the catalog process easier I think.

Look inward and think about this:
What subject will light you up like a Christmas tree in a positive, emotional way?

Working for the Weekend

It occurred to me that everybody does indeed work for the weekend. What is the reason for working for the weekend? Seriously, think about it. If you dread your job, why not find a career that you are passionate about and then you would not dread getting up every day. If you are working for a paycheck, that too means you are not passionate about your job. I am pretty good at what I do. Is it my lifelong dream to work in an office and move up the corporate ladder? Not so much.

I guess that is what makes me different than most people is that I’ve found a career that I’m passionate about and am pursuing it. I don’t dream of a nice 401k and a pension, retiring to fish somewhere or live on a beach. Living on a beach would be nice but I would still need an outlet for my creative energy. I dream of being a great actor and getting great roles in the twilight of my life. Most dream of retirement because they don’t want to work. I dream of being old and working as an actor. I believe that passion with what you do will translate into a happy life and the means to live will become secondary. Why? Because you will get up every day and be happy going to that dream. I always hear from those that are successful, that it’s not work to do what they love to do. Listen to those that are successful in whatever you dream about. They worked hard to get to that point, but it wasn’t work, it was a passion. If you do the thing you love, it won’t be work. Yes, even my dream job is not without a lot of politics, work strife and uncertainty. However, I know and respect that. It doesn’t hinder me from pursuing it however.

Moreover, people tend to put up barriers for themselves or use others as a barrier. I know your family, raising kids take precedence over all things. I get that. However, think about this. Wouldn’t your family want you to be happy and see you pursue your dream? Wouldn’t you be a better spouse, parent and friend if you were happy pursuing your lifelong dream, whatever that may be? Stop putting those other things in the way and achieve that dream with their help. Trust me, people love to help others. I believe helping people is built into our DNA. And when it is person you love and cherish, that help comes more readily. Having said all this, I know there are very true challenges that may be in the immediate future or distant future. Understand that they are challenges not barriers. A barrier is a wall. A challenge is cone. Drive around the cone not into the wall.

Furthermore, if your dream is to raise the best kids possible, then pursue that. To me there is nothing better than a great mom or dad! That a dream that is worth working for! I am never advocating leaving them behind. A dream needs a pack to run with. Your family could be that pack. By contrast, I do see those that totally lose their identity when raising their kids either on their own or with their spouse. Those dreams get set aside. When the kids are grown and out of the house, a huge vacuum hits and you are left wondering who you are. In some cases depression could set in. We all have heard about the empty nest syndrome. A healthy balance between raising kids and taking care of who you are is needed. I’m not a parent and I cannot imagine how hard that can be to do.

In short, I know I dream differently. I know it is easier for me to dream as I’m single with no kids. It is easier because I can be single minded in my pursuit of my dream. I often wonder if my “no limits” way I dream is why I am single. My mindset is not wife, 2 kids and a dog in the back yard. I want a prize in life that is bigger than domestic bliss. I don’t dream working for the weekend, I dream working in a creative atmosphere as a writer/actor/director.

Edgar Allen Poe once said "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream by night."

World Cup Editorial

The world cup comes around once every 4 years, just like the Olympics. That is about the American’s attention span for soccer too. To be sure, we will root for our home team patriotically and wish them well. However, our lives do not begin and end with the World Cup. It is a casual interest at best. That is where we differentiate it. However, there are good Americans who have Cup fever, but they are the minority.

In the states, the soccer life begins and ends with childhood. The term soccer mom was invented in the states along with the soccer van. It is a great game, with tremendous skill. However, most parents have their roots in college where they got their undergrad degrees. Those schools had athletic programs built around football, basketball, baseball and in some areas hockey. The campus athletic spectator activities were around those, thus our passion for the core four sports.

As I said, we will root for our home team yet most don’t even know who Landon Donavan is. He is the star of the American team. I don’t pay attention to the sport yet I know that.

Each world cup the media proclaims that this world cup will get America on board with the world’s most popular sport. Well just because 93 billion will be watching and caring, doesn’t mean I have to care. If 93 billion want mullets doesn’t mean I want a mullet.

Soccer, or as it termed, futbol, is a sport that rewards faking injuries. It is my personal belief that they should play through that, show toughness and grit. Maybe then we would watch. Some say it needs more scoring. I don’t believe that. That ball is roughly 1/20th of the size of that net. How there is no scoring is beyond me.

I do not take away the merits of these athletes. They are incredible to me and quite gifted. I don’t know the positions but those that kick the ball towards the net are very skilled. To get a ball to curve like that is amazing. The endurance they have is quite remarkable.

Also, as for American’s perception of this sport, we read headlines of people being killed because of their loyalty to one team. Even with Raider nation, you don’t see that in American sport. Our loyalty begins and ends with a fair competition. For instance, I am a diehard Boston Red Sox fan, so it’s no surprise that I despise the New York Yankees. It doesn’t mean I want to pummel the next Yankee fan that I see. I will debate them about the supremacy of our teams but it stops there. Even if they were to run some smack totally degrading my team, I would just walk away. I would venture most Americans are like that.

We Americans will watch the Cup but our lives do not begin and end with it. Enjoy the World Cup because it only comes every 4 years.

DWTS experience

Back in December I was the highest bidder for a charity auction hosted by Marlee Matlin. Included in the prize was Dancing with the Stars tickets. Needless to say I was excited. A great cast and a well received show. I took a friend of mine who is a huge DWTS fan. She thought it was amazing!!
We stayed with some friends in Pasadena for the weekend.
Fast forward to day of the show and we navigate the freeways of Los Angeles. We park the car. As we walk to the gate we see these huge lines of people snaked around the sidewalks. I'd guess in the neghborhood of 150 people. I was worried that we would have to be in those lines. I asked someone what the line was for. Of course, I gasped. However there was a page there. I said we had reseved seats and she pointed us to a back VIP gate. There the line was shorter. I breathed a sigh of relief. As we passed through the gate they checked our names off. We walked past got our Ids checked and found the check in stand. Yet another line but again short. Now the waiting game begins.
They told us we had assigned seats so we were safe. As we stood in line the weather was gorgeous and we of course people watched. It was fun being a VIP per se.
Finally we get in and found our seats. Miraculously they were third row seats. Prime seats for all the action no bad sight lines to speak of.
We could not bring in cameras or cell phones so no pictures.
They had a dude from England doing the hosting of the crowd. He was funny and entertained the crowd quite well. Our surprise musical guest was Melissa Ethridge. She sang her heart out. For me that was the highlight of show. They had to tape her second number twice. It is remarkable that they can perform that, edit the tape and have it ready for a live show!! In between the numbers they had contests with crowd particpation and interaction. It was quite entertaining. I still loved Melissa's performances!!
Finally we were live on national tv. We had to applaud a lot so we could not hear what Tom and Brooke were saying. The dancers were great. They are amazing athletes. They started with ochocinco and his dancer. They were good yet he looked stiff.
Sam Neil and a couple of co stars from the show Happy Town were a couple of rows in front of me.
It was a great experience to say the least!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Karma

We all have karma. It comes from how we deal with people, the planet and our animals. Some seek refuge in religion. I can't do that as I do not ascribe to that. Jesus was a great philosopher but not a deity to me. Many of his teachings should be followed. They are the basic premise of good karma.
Our karma is also derived in how we treat ourselves. If you don't treat yourself well nobody else will.

I had an episode today whereby someone was exerting their karma on a girl I liked. Unfortunately and unbenownst to her he is surrounded by bad karma. I wish this were not the case because deep down he's a good guy. However he makes poor decisions. It is sad because she believes his crap and that bugs me.
However that is his karma and he is responsible for cultivating that.

Look as karma as being a garden. It needs tending, weeding and fertilizer. You need to work at it to keep it healthy. By writing this I am tending to my karma garden. I need to purge thus negativity (weeds) to help my karma garden grow. It is as simple as that.

If you take one thing from this, it's that. Most trainers can work you into shape physically. You have to work yourself into shape mentally. One way to achieve that is to tend to your karma garden. As the old saying goes, you reap what you sow. Sow positivity into your karma garden every day!


-- Post From My iPhone

Health Care Reform

What troubles me about health care reform is not trying to help others. I've spent most of my adult life doing just that. Probably in the last 5 years, I've given more to non-profit charity than most pay in taxes in a year. I've worked projects to help others in need. Even further, part of my yearly holiday time is actually serving meals to those that are in need. I've NEVER seen one person from Congress there in the 7 years I've lived in Houston. We serve meals on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve to those that cannot afford them. The lines are long and go on for hours. Many Houstonians pour in and help out to serve meals, clean up, cook food and other tasks that go into serving 30,000 people. So, do not tell me that I do not care about those in need.

However, maybe it's me, but my trust that government will get it right is not there. As yourself as an American, do you really think that you will collect Social Security when you retire? You are currently giving 12.9% of your check to that. If you make $1000, $120.90 is going to your government. Google Social Security Solvency for more information.

By contrast, forcing us in 2014 to have health insurance or pay a penalty, sounds ludicrous to me. It's 2010 right now. The current administration will not be in office then. to further illuminate this, most in Congress will not be in office then, save for a few lifers. They are all trumpeting that they made health insurance for all Americans mandatory.

Please do not look to Canada for a model of how this works. Look at the State of Massachusetts and their model for how this is working. Please take into account that this model is in its infancy. However, it needs to be examined for what is being done right to get health care and what is being done wrong.

Google for articles that will show you that we are having a health care shortage of primary care physicians. Our country is founded upon free enterprise. A very darwin way of working, i.e. the strongest will survive. Those that voted for this measure, do not believe that is the way to go, i.e. free market. Our free market is why Warren Buffett is considered a shrewd man. He gets what makes this economy work. Congress has taken this away. Giving 34 million access to health care seems like a "golly gosh lets help the underprivileged". I know these people should not EVER be denied health care or be denied because of pre-existing conditions.

Is that what is broken? I believe that is the source of the problem. What is wrong here, is that there are people that do not have access to health insurance for reasons. Why didn't our Congress address the actual problems. This is on both sides of the aisle I believe.

Why didn't they look at our system of helping those that cannot help themselves. That is what our government should do. That I believe is what our government is for. It is does things, like test meat to ensure that the public doesn't get bad meat, produce and the like.

I am at a crossroads on this for a couple of reasons. One, I think the Republicans dropped the ball on this one. They've had many chances to fix this system, as they had an opportunity to make this happen. Now that the tables are turned, they are in a reactive mode instead of proactive. Hindsight is 20/20 as we all know.

Where do we go from here? I personally thinking helping those less fortunate is a dubious task. Can the private sector fix this problem on their own? I do not think so, personally, as the market is predicated upon supply and demand. There are clinics for the disadvantaged that doctors all over the country are working at, on their own dime. This is not getting to those that need care.

Part of the bill from what I read was to move more to preventative care rather than reactive care. I am hopeful that this will help.

Not sure what the answers are, but maybe, just maybe, this will help us create a healthy dialogue of what is best for those that need it and not a tanning tax. If you don't know about this, there are so many hoodwinked deals in this bill.

I will write more on this later.

Singles Awareness Day

In lieu of that, I am promoting Singles Awareness Day. There is a group on FaceBook here.

Encourage your friends that do not have a significant other to join, organize events in their city for those left out of the fray of the Valentine's chocolates, flowers and other stuff.

I gain nothing from this endeavor. I am just trying to help those that are single at this time of year.

Twitter, Causes and You

Fans, celebrities and average people all have causes near and dear to their heart. A grandma passes away from a bout with cancer, so that form of cancer becomes their favorite cause. My dad died due to a stroke in the stem of his brain. There is alcoholism in my family, I could adopt that cause.

Most people follow celebrities to get closer to them, to get a tweet back and such, to be recognized. It is the internet s age of being seen by them on the red carpet. That golden retweet from your favorite celebrity makes you feel like a million dollars or so it seems. Well, it doesn’t for me. I just send out the good karma to the celebrities and don’t expect anything back. I know I am putting out good vibes regardless of the response. People should realize that.

However, it seems to be a catch-22 for the tweeters with causes. They seem to tweet and retweet about their favorite causes, yet most never respond to a normal tweet to them, even a normal ‘how is your day going’. I do not think they can have it both ways, i.e. expect the average citizen with a twitter account to want to help their cause yet largely ignore them otherwise. I know there are celebrities that have nearly a million followers. You cannot connect with every one of them nor tweet back to all of them. However, in the same breathe, average joe cannot be expected to connect to the celebrity’s beloved cause just because they tweet it. It just doesn’t work that way. You get what you give. If they want the average joe to give to their cause they need to reach out more in some way shape or form. I wish I had this answer to how to make this work better. I am not throwing anyone under the proverbial bus here. I think that if you have a cause that you believe in, you best make that effort to connect to your followers. Engage them, make them feel a part of your cause. Otherwise, you are just using 140 characters and hoping for a decent return.

However, to credit some of the celebrity tweeters that I follow, it is really them sending the tweets, not their manager or publicist or agent. There are the good ones that are making the effort.

Furthermore, I have seen celebrities tweet that “they will follow you” if you do X. That is not right. To explain, it’s just like an employee/manager relationship. The best manager levels with his or her employee. In other words talks to them on their level. This same principle should apply to tweeters from all backgrounds. Talk to people on their level not yours. Regardless of your profession or notoriety, you should level with your followers. Your followers are people just like you regardless of what they do for a living.

Twitter it appears is largely talking at people not to people. It is not conversational, merely one sided at a 140 character pace. To bridge this gap, I do not have this answer. Yeah I know. Lots of questions, but no answers.

Personally, I follow people that talk with me, engage me, even with 140 characters. Some of my friends tweet back and forth with me. These are people that I know here and some people I follow I’ve never met including the celebrities. They tweet back and forth, they put forth the effort to converse. Twitter is a valuable medium, much like Facebook. It can be a powerful way to influence your cause or just to connect with people from all over the world.

I think what we will see in the future is a weeding out those tweeters that connect with their followers and those that do not.

Figure out your best way to connect and go for it. There is no right or wrong way to go about it, just keep in mind your twitter audience and bring about the results you are looking for.