Love is a Gift Cherish It

My friend RR gave me a poignant reminder today of something I lost over 12 years ago. My dad.

You never get over losing your hero. EVER. The pain lessens but you never get over it.

He died due to complications from a stroke in the stem of his brain which left him in a vegetable state. You never get over that conversation with the doctors about deciding his fate. I never have. Nothing in life, school, physicians, or the like can ever help you with that fork in the road. Ugh. Nothing like holding his hand and there's nothing. My last conversation with him was about online banking. Ugh.

It is Oscar night. I've always rehearsed my Oscar speech. I know I will be bawling, having trouble keeping back the tears that my dad cannot be there to see that. He would be as proud of me if I was the manager of the month at Burger King. It would be simple. Sorry agents, publicists, but without my dad, I wouldn't be here. Tears would flow. Just thinking about it now and I well up with tears.

You never get over having played god with your hero. He was way better off given his vegetable state, but to this day, I've never cried like that. My nephew Phalen just sat with me and let me cry. You never forget that silence that is the biggest love you can feel at your worst.

Love from your friends, relatives is a gift. You are NOT entitled to that love. Cherish it and remind them that they are loved.

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