What do you attract?

Do you know that feeling when you are in a relationship and all of the sudden women or men (depending on your preference) you were interested in are now wearing watches and giving you the time of day?  I have felt this.

Today, I was doing my lunch hour power walk to clear my mind and thought about that.  Recently, I was in a relationship and all of the sudden I was getting those looks from single women.  Why?  Because I was happy!  (You know, like a room without a roof happy).  I was in love.  People want what that feels like.  They want to be around it, to feel it, to touch it, to sense it.  It’s a good thing.  I’ve always tried to figure out how to project that out in my signal that I have to attract others.  This wasn't the best thinking on my part.

A natural progression is that I get asked “what do you want to attract?”  I thought about that a lot recently.  I thought long and hard and came up empty, until last Sunday morning.  I couldn’t stop writing about it.  It is summed up in 1 sentence.

BE WHO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT

Write that down!!!

You know all those things you want in a mate, be that.  I started writing using the statement “I want this…” in a mate and then turned it around to a “I will be that” to “I am that”.  This is a part of my transformation as a person to be who I want to attract.

You see that walk I took made me realize that I am not to project outward what they want to see.  I need to feel inward what I want to attract.  That “in love” aura that I had recently is just manifesting itself into “being in love with myself”.  I felt my body change physically, my face relaxed while I was thinking about being in love with myself.  My demeanor changed.  People started looking at me.  I was “Friday afternoon just before leaving work” happy on a Tuesday.

The trick is to manifest that internally, walking around being in love with who you are.   I am the sum of all my parts, good and bad, I am WHOLE.  Acceptance of myself at that inner spiritual level is the key to happiness for me.  It’s the key to me being centered, at peace and connected to the universe.  That is all I seek.  It is a journey for sure, not a destination, but being “in love” with myself is a key component and a possible centerpiece of everything I want.

If you are single and want to attract that mate of your dreams.  Do 2 things.

• Fall in love with yourself.
• Say it out loud, speak it in your internal dialogue and own it.
• Be who you want to attract.
• Write down those attributes and start peeling away the layers of the right person for you and soon you will become the right person for yourself.  It’s like magic.

Prioritize Your Life

I’m not a parent, but I can play one on TV. I don't have kids but lately I think of single parents, two parent homes and other types of households where they are raising kids. Parents take kids to soccer games, softball games, volleyball games, school concerts all the while working a full time job and possibly pursuing their hobbies and working on the home. It is truly amazing if you think about the hours, the time scheduling and the juggling parents single or couples do in raising their kids.

I think about this as I don’t have any two legged kids. I have two 4-legged kids (dog and a cat). Not the same.  I also have a full time job and a second career in the entertainment field that I am pursuing. On top of that, I am doing home improvement projects, also work with my life coach and do self and professional therapy to make myself a better person. All that adds up to a lot of time being juggled just as my friends and family who are raising kids do. It’s just a different way of juggling.  I think their way is a lot harder to be sure!

However, what I have found that in either case it is somewhat not what we are trying to accomplish but scheduling and prioritizing the week to get things done. I have found just as in my primary career, we need project schedules, deadlines and accountability, my life needs this as well. It is fun and rewarding to improve daily, read and connect spiritually to the universe. However, prioritizing all of those things takes some up front work. It is funny because I complain at work about the reactive state we constantly work in.  All of this reacting to the business needs of my customers. It’s the same with life.  If you are in a constant reactive mode, you are not going to accomplish your goals.  It does take some of that hard work up front.  My life coach has been helping me with this, but it's my accountability to prioritize my two careers, my environment, my personal happiness and all of my goals.

Furthermore, we all understand that life is what happens when you are busy planning it.  I still recommend some serious planning to get out of life what you really want. What you get is what you put into it. If you are a parent, DINK (double income no kids) or single like me, still take some time to list and prioritize what you want to accomplish in your life.  My friend Richard Rosso writes about some ways to enrich your life, to be happier.  A wonderful note to expand on this post of prioritizing your life.

Prioritize your life so your dreams can come true.

Forgiveness

When most people think of forgiveness, they think of forgiving another person. What about yourself? We all make mistakes in life. We human. We are born to make mistakes. It's how we learn. We get in trouble with bad decisions and pay the price, but do we forgive ourselves for that? Most do not sadly.

Forgiving ourselves seems to be so much harder than forgiving others. Why is that? Continually striving to be the best is a great thing but you are going to make mistakes. Some bigger than others, some smaller than others. Look in that mirror literally and forgive yourself out loud. Sift through all the bad feelings and circumstances and find the good out of it. Then, forgive yourself.

I've done some stupid shit that has hurt people, said things, done things that were not smart. Those people have forgiven me long ago, but I have not forgiven myself. I am learning to do this. I have to for me to grow as a human being.

This whole process is all about taking care of yourself and to quote James Altucher, choosing yourself. Self-love is the hardest emotion for humans to master it seems. However, the sooner you master it or understand it, the happier you will be and the happier those around you will be. You will start to attract the right kind of people that lift you up, not bring you down.

So, start by understanding your mistakes and forgiving yourself. It's a powerful way to love yourself and choose yourself.

I need to be here

Most think OMG I need to be there. This is Bora Bora. A magnificent tropical paradise. Think about this and what it represents.

What emotion do you get from this picture? I always hear about people having a bad day and think "I need to be on the beach with my toes in the sand". that feeling of being on a beach, is just that, a feeling. Yes, the view is spectacular without a doubt. But what about that feeling.

Take a deeper dive into what that feeling is about? Is it about peace, a sanctuary, a place to let go or a place to be free?

Can you create a place of peace at home, that sanctuary, where you are free and unencumbered by life's constant stresses. Running from things just means they either come with you or are waiting for you when you get back.

Our problems, issues, work lives, families are all things we can never run from. We have to make money, we all have issues with which we deal with. Escaping for a couple weeks does nourish the soul and I'm a huge advocate of that. However, spending $2000 on a vacation is good. How about spending some of that on yourself? Easy for ALL of us to save money for that vacation but saving money to choose yourself is a whole different mindset.

I suggest to spend to make your sanctuary. This is what I am doing within my house. New paint, new furniture, a new sanctuary which happens to be my office. I asked for help in doing this because I knew I couldn't do it alone. But my place is going to be my refuge, my sanctuary from what life gives me.

I don't need to go to a beach to "escape", my home is my escape from the troubles. I am at an age where inner peace and a strong connection to the universe are my goals in life. Yes, I really do want to visit Bora Bora as it's on my bucket list. But I will visit knowing I'm not escaping anything but experiencing the earth and universe while I have the means and am able. It will never be an escape.

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