Truths

The Founding Fathers of this great country held some truths to be self-evident.



I believe, we as human beings honestly don't know what our truths are. To each of us they are not self-evident. As I said in an earlier blog we need to own our experience. This includes those truths of who we are. We all have varying levels of truths.

For instance, what our career is, who we work for, what we stand for and even superficial stuff like who our favorite sports teams are. But those are not the truths I am talking about. I am talking about a deeper level set of truths.

Truths are like a concentric circle. Each layer reveals more and more about your truths. Similar in fashion to this one.





All truths you have like your childhood, your marriages, your kids and others are not meant for all. To start with, own those truths. They are yours. Much like the family circus kid who meanders on his way home from school, our life path is our truth.



Copyright @FamilyCircus, all rights reserved.

All those things that happened to us are our truths. They represent various layers of truths to be revealed to people in that concentric circle.

Remember, each layer of truth is not meant for everybody. Owning those and protecting those is called establishing boundaries to your truths. It is a vault and can be opened for the right person, but ensure they know the passcode and will protect those truths right alongside you. This is especially prevalent in the social media age.





We all want to connect to our fellow human being. Well at least I want to. That is one of my truths. Social media allows us that alleged privacy to reveal truths to someone, when in reality that truth, is stored on some disk server, somewhere in the world, so it's really not private.

I am not suggesting being a hermit. As early 20th century Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandies said "Sunlight is the greatest disinfectant."

Justice Louis Brandeis


Opening up those truths, especially the scary ones (re: skeletons), gives them less power and you realize you are not alone in those truths about yourself. I know I think some of the shit that has happened to me is unique to me. However, as I give that passcode to that vault, I realize that I'm not alone in those truths.

As I said, we all have truths. Be cognizant of them, own them unto yourself. Once you own them, protect them and keep that passcode locked away. Be cautious with that passcode, as not everyone needs to know every truth of yours.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Accountability

Each day wake up and remind yourself that you and only you are accountable for yourself. At work we use the acronym RACI to figure out where accountability lies within our work.

Responsible
Accountable
Consulted
Informed


Each piece of work is is broken down into these areas. We can use this in our lives as well. Ultimately, we are responsible and accountable for our happiness. Yes, we consult others for ways to achieve this and inform others of our happiness. However, the R&A lies within ourselves.

I had an episode this morning where I chose that. I chose to be accountable to myself over allowing a negative thing overwhelm me. This was in my personal life and something that is an addiction I have. I chose to be accountable for that reaction to that stimuli. Instead of going "ugh" and allowing it to fester, I said "I am not going to let this take over me."

This is not an easy process and the work I've done has led me here to this point. It is not easy to overcome any addiction or circumstance. I just chose to overwhelm it instead of it overwhelming me. I woke up knowing I had that power.

We all hear that we should choose to be happy. Yes, it's a choice, but once you realize you accountable for that choice, it becomes easier. Nobody else is accountable for your happiness. Only you. Choose to be accountable for your life and your actions. Once you do that, you will live freely and in my mind, make better choices.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Taking Care of Yourself

We all desire inner peace and balance in our lives. I recall my trip to California last year. It was April 11, 2012. Yes, I remember the date and time even (9:16 PST) I was staying with a friend of mine, sleeping on the couch. It was the closest I've ever felt centered with inner peace. The universe was aligned with me at that very point. It wasn't a physical state of being but a mental one.

All that starts with taking care of yourself. We all externalize to varying extents. Facebook, social media outlets, water cooler talks and so on. I do this a lot. My voice is external to others. Even this blog post is that.

However, to achieve that inner peace and centering, one should try to take care of themselves. This is not just working out, eating right, but inner talks, writing, journaling, however, you can show you that you love yourself.

Disclaimer: I am not a parent in the purest sense. I have four legged kids. However, I see single parents and couples, having their entire existence predicated upon their kids. It is their identity. This is why we all know about empty nest syndrome. The kids are gone and they don't know how to take care of themselves. In shuttling kids to practice, school, vacations, chores and the like they lost sight of who they really were.

Conversely, I see people that are relationship addicts. One mate to another and on to another. Each attempt at a relationship is externalizing their love for the mate. In doing so, their interest in their mate helps them hide the flaws they so desperately want to avoid. Once the breakup happens, they miss all that. Cry for help. Surrounding themselves with 'YES' people to hide the hurt of the loved one. When in fact, they could take care of themselves and become whole. Once a person is whole, that need for a mate no longer is desired like an addiction but as a nice to have. It is an amazing place to be with out that want and/or need. I am working at that myself.

This is where I am. I cannot sit here and pontificate I know the answers for everyone. I am working on taking care of myself. I have true friends that remind me of that, when I stray. When I externalize my thoughts and feelings. Surround yourself with people who are willing to help you along in this journey.

Remember this, the flaws of another you see are just flaws you see in yourself. If you take care of yourself and identify your own flaws, working on them (re: taking care of yourself), you not only become more whole, you attract the people you desire to live your life with.

I can tell you without a doubt that my habits, my thoughts, my intentions have not been where they should be. And because of that, I've not been the most positive person.

However, I am learning to take care of myself each and every day. Some days are easier and some are harder. I'll leave you with my mantra that my life coach and I wrote for myself. Maybe this will help you connect with yourself and ultimately create the person you want to be.

Connect with yourself.
Connect with your environment.
Connect with people through meaningful relationships.
Connect with your work.


The universe leaves breadcrumbs for you to follow. It's up to you to pick them up and follow them.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad