Are You Ready

Too often in life we receive messages we physically hear but yet do not take to heart. This is not a fault or a bad thing.

We have to be open to the universe and to ideas for them to take hold of us. Case in point for myself. My coaches mantra is to "journal" everything. I still resist this to a certain point. However, it is a great mechanism for me and an outlet for whatever is circling around in my head at that time. Once I write it down on paper using a pen, it reveals many things I need to hear. All these coming from myself. Early on in my work with my coach I was not ready to hear this message. I now am and journal frequently in my own way that meets my needs. I am now receiving that message.

In this journey with my coach we laugh a lot about these types of direction I get. Sometimes I'm just not ready to receive that message and other times it's perfect timing and the message is so well received that I action it almost immediately.

I have a lot of friends that are taking a similar journey to me in wanting inner peace and feeling centered. Many of their messages I am not ready to hear but I keep an open mind as I may not action that message right away, I still know it's there. It's wonderful to have people like that in my life that are accepting that way.

Once you understand that not all messages are ready for you and vice versa, it becomes easier. I am learning this each day and working that into my daily practice of being better today than I was yesterday.

That's all I can ask and hope that I receive helpful messages along the way knowing I may not be ready for them. It's part of the journey of life.


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The Ego Litmus Test

You can use this on your friends and family and most importantly yourself.

As I’ve typed about and maybe you’ve read, the ego thinks in the past and the future, forgetting about the present.

Listen to your inner dialogue and see where it is located.  Is it resting comfortably in the past talking about what could’ve been, what happened, how wounded you are or any of that stuff?  If so, it’s the ego controlling that because that is a very comfortable position to live in and the ego is happy.

What about if your inner dialogue is all about things you want or if I just lived near the water or if and so on.  A lot of what-if scenarios playing in that dialogue?  Again, it is your ego playing that movie for you because it is “happy” in that spot.

Even at work you can see who is motivated by the past or the future but not the present.  Managers make decisions to affect the future but great leaders are present, in the moment with full on listening skills to capture the moment to make key decisions.  Watch people at work and see if they are present by just how they talk.  

I have lived this stuff over and over again myself, especially the past.  Anyone who is close to me, family and friends, know this about me.  I lived in the past for so long even though I made it through each day.  I have been also living in the future thinking about all these material things or if I just took a year off or quit my job with nothing lined up.  That’s all the future that hasn’t happened.

All this is the ego controlling events in your mind.

Now, take this to your friends and family.  See how they talk, see where it originates from.  See if they are appreciating the very moment you are with them or are they just wandering in the past and future.  You will be able to see what controls them and how present they are.

I love living in the present moment as it gets me energized like nothing I’ve ever drank or eaten or even exercise can’t do that.  The present is why some painters love to paint because they are so focused on each and every paint stroke.  When I play sand volleyball, my mind is totally focused on each play and I love that.  Even as I write this, I’m focused on the words to craft a meaningful post.

The ego is necessary but should be controlled by living in the very present moment.  Deep breathing exercises and meditation are great ways to clear that clutter and being able to live in that moment.  The more I write about being in the present moment, the more excited I get about life.  It is a beautiful way to live.

I have not fully mastered this and it is a huge process change for me, but each day I try to get present during my work day and while I work on other things.  Letting go what hasn’t happened is so powerful and will bring you happiness in a way that will attract people in your life that bring meaning and value.

Listen to your inner dialogue and listen to others to see how they are wired.  If it all the past and the future, they are being driven by ego.  See how present they are and how present you are.  Sharpen those listening skills and stay present as much as saying “put the left foot in front of the right foot” present.  The more you live that way the more powerful you become, you become centered and connected to the universe in a very powerful way.

I am whole

Through self observation, therapy and friends, I am teaching myself to understand that I am whole.  I am the sum of my parts.  I can’t be just the good parts.  I am the bad parts as well, the addictions the weaknesses that I work on.  I AM WHOLE.  I am the sum of all these parts which makes me great! I looked around at my house.  It is an amazing metaphor for who I am right now.  I have done a lot renovations on it.  However it’s not done.  Nothing in my house is broken.  It just needs some renovations to make it what I want.

The same applies to me and the life I am crafting.  I just need some renovations like being more grateful, living in the very present moment without the past or future.  Something I learned in my work with my life coach is that the ego is what is hanging on to the past and future.  It is the wall that is stopping me from changing into the person I want to be.

I want to live a life of inner peace and connection with people and the universe.  Once I can get into a rhythm of that, I firmly believe life can make way for the dreams I wish to achieve like producing a TV series, acting in a TV series.  It goes to the blog I wrote about “what do you want to attract?”.  That blog talks about being what you want to attract.  Once I get that routine of being at peace, living life one moment at a time (including typing this), I can attract the people I love to be around, crafting a universe of my own that reflects my value system.  Each day I walk towards that routine, reading books looking for hints, living a life of choosing myself as James Altucher talks about.  (See his book link below).

Even as I sit here, I can feel my ego draw up fears and challenges to being a better person.  The ego wants that comfort of those addictions, those thoughts, those scenarios it knows.  Once I am truly happy, living my truth each day, anything is possible.  The ego right now in this moment is drawing up fear of losing my house and not being able to afford things I can now.  I am grateful I’m in the present moment to see that is what the ego is doing.  Yes, we all need to survive and have food and water.  However, if you give in to the process of living your truth, being peaceful and connected, it will take care of itself.  The ego is making it hard to do that but each thought is visualizing that way of life of meditation, inner peace and love.  Self love.  Once I get that self love and inner peace, I can help others, make films that are meaningful to me and surround myself with people creating happy moments each day with love and peace.  It sounds very 70’s peace like but it’s a higher consciousness that Deepak Chopra talks about.

Living a life of mindfulness, inner peace and self love brings about the rewards we all seek.  I’m very grateful that I’m learning these truths as a single man right now.  I only have 2 pets and no spouse or girlfriend to deal with.  I can enter into this mindset now and achieve a harmonic convergence with the universe inside my soul.

As Melissa Etheridge writes in her song “We are the ones”, we are the ones we that we are waiting for.  I know that this is a spiritual journey I am on and it’s fun and exciting because it gives me hope.  I hope just one sentence will help you along.  If you would like to know more, below are some of the materials I have at home.  I love this journey and to connect with others on this same spiritual journey.  Yes, tell your ego to not worry.  This is fun because there is so much hope and reward.

Imagine being connected to well with the universe and your fellow man that when you are on that beach you dream of, you an channel the universe.  A powerful feeling for sure.  It’s the journey I am taking.

Very good links to follow for books on Amazon.  No I don't get paid for them.  I just love the books.  I own them all.

Srinivas Rao The Art of Being Unmistakeable
Kamal Ravikant Live Your Truth
James Altucher Choose Yourself

What do you attract?

Do you know that feeling when you are in a relationship and all of the sudden women or men (depending on your preference) you were interested in are now wearing watches and giving you the time of day?  I have felt this.

Today, I was doing my lunch hour power walk to clear my mind and thought about that.  Recently, I was in a relationship and all of the sudden I was getting those looks from single women.  Why?  Because I was happy!  (You know, like a room without a roof happy).  I was in love.  People want what that feels like.  They want to be around it, to feel it, to touch it, to sense it.  It’s a good thing.  I’ve always tried to figure out how to project that out in my signal that I have to attract others.  This wasn't the best thinking on my part.

A natural progression is that I get asked “what do you want to attract?”  I thought about that a lot recently.  I thought long and hard and came up empty, until last Sunday morning.  I couldn’t stop writing about it.  It is summed up in 1 sentence.

BE WHO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT

Write that down!!!

You know all those things you want in a mate, be that.  I started writing using the statement “I want this…” in a mate and then turned it around to a “I will be that” to “I am that”.  This is a part of my transformation as a person to be who I want to attract.

You see that walk I took made me realize that I am not to project outward what they want to see.  I need to feel inward what I want to attract.  That “in love” aura that I had recently is just manifesting itself into “being in love with myself”.  I felt my body change physically, my face relaxed while I was thinking about being in love with myself.  My demeanor changed.  People started looking at me.  I was “Friday afternoon just before leaving work” happy on a Tuesday.

The trick is to manifest that internally, walking around being in love with who you are.   I am the sum of all my parts, good and bad, I am WHOLE.  Acceptance of myself at that inner spiritual level is the key to happiness for me.  It’s the key to me being centered, at peace and connected to the universe.  That is all I seek.  It is a journey for sure, not a destination, but being “in love” with myself is a key component and a possible centerpiece of everything I want.

If you are single and want to attract that mate of your dreams.  Do 2 things.

• Fall in love with yourself.
• Say it out loud, speak it in your internal dialogue and own it.
• Be who you want to attract.
• Write down those attributes and start peeling away the layers of the right person for you and soon you will become the right person for yourself.  It’s like magic.

Prioritize Your Life

I’m not a parent, but I can play one on TV. I don't have kids but lately I think of single parents, two parent homes and other types of households where they are raising kids. Parents take kids to soccer games, softball games, volleyball games, school concerts all the while working a full time job and possibly pursuing their hobbies and working on the home. It is truly amazing if you think about the hours, the time scheduling and the juggling parents single or couples do in raising their kids.

I think about this as I don’t have any two legged kids. I have two 4-legged kids (dog and a cat). Not the same.  I also have a full time job and a second career in the entertainment field that I am pursuing. On top of that, I am doing home improvement projects, also work with my life coach and do self and professional therapy to make myself a better person. All that adds up to a lot of time being juggled just as my friends and family who are raising kids do. It’s just a different way of juggling.  I think their way is a lot harder to be sure!

However, what I have found that in either case it is somewhat not what we are trying to accomplish but scheduling and prioritizing the week to get things done. I have found just as in my primary career, we need project schedules, deadlines and accountability, my life needs this as well. It is fun and rewarding to improve daily, read and connect spiritually to the universe. However, prioritizing all of those things takes some up front work. It is funny because I complain at work about the reactive state we constantly work in.  All of this reacting to the business needs of my customers. It’s the same with life.  If you are in a constant reactive mode, you are not going to accomplish your goals.  It does take some of that hard work up front.  My life coach has been helping me with this, but it's my accountability to prioritize my two careers, my environment, my personal happiness and all of my goals.

Furthermore, we all understand that life is what happens when you are busy planning it.  I still recommend some serious planning to get out of life what you really want. What you get is what you put into it. If you are a parent, DINK (double income no kids) or single like me, still take some time to list and prioritize what you want to accomplish in your life.  My friend Richard Rosso writes about some ways to enrich your life, to be happier.  A wonderful note to expand on this post of prioritizing your life.

Prioritize your life so your dreams can come true.

Forgiveness

When most people think of forgiveness, they think of forgiving another person. What about yourself? We all make mistakes in life. We human. We are born to make mistakes. It's how we learn. We get in trouble with bad decisions and pay the price, but do we forgive ourselves for that? Most do not sadly.

Forgiving ourselves seems to be so much harder than forgiving others. Why is that? Continually striving to be the best is a great thing but you are going to make mistakes. Some bigger than others, some smaller than others. Look in that mirror literally and forgive yourself out loud. Sift through all the bad feelings and circumstances and find the good out of it. Then, forgive yourself.

I've done some stupid shit that has hurt people, said things, done things that were not smart. Those people have forgiven me long ago, but I have not forgiven myself. I am learning to do this. I have to for me to grow as a human being.

This whole process is all about taking care of yourself and to quote James Altucher, choosing yourself. Self-love is the hardest emotion for humans to master it seems. However, the sooner you master it or understand it, the happier you will be and the happier those around you will be. You will start to attract the right kind of people that lift you up, not bring you down.

So, start by understanding your mistakes and forgiving yourself. It's a powerful way to love yourself and choose yourself.

I need to be here

Most think OMG I need to be there. This is Bora Bora. A magnificent tropical paradise. Think about this and what it represents.

What emotion do you get from this picture? I always hear about people having a bad day and think "I need to be on the beach with my toes in the sand". that feeling of being on a beach, is just that, a feeling. Yes, the view is spectacular without a doubt. But what about that feeling.

Take a deeper dive into what that feeling is about? Is it about peace, a sanctuary, a place to let go or a place to be free?

Can you create a place of peace at home, that sanctuary, where you are free and unencumbered by life's constant stresses. Running from things just means they either come with you or are waiting for you when you get back.

Our problems, issues, work lives, families are all things we can never run from. We have to make money, we all have issues with which we deal with. Escaping for a couple weeks does nourish the soul and I'm a huge advocate of that. However, spending $2000 on a vacation is good. How about spending some of that on yourself? Easy for ALL of us to save money for that vacation but saving money to choose yourself is a whole different mindset.

I suggest to spend to make your sanctuary. This is what I am doing within my house. New paint, new furniture, a new sanctuary which happens to be my office. I asked for help in doing this because I knew I couldn't do it alone. But my place is going to be my refuge, my sanctuary from what life gives me.

I don't need to go to a beach to "escape", my home is my escape from the troubles. I am at an age where inner peace and a strong connection to the universe are my goals in life. Yes, I really do want to visit Bora Bora as it's on my bucket list. But I will visit knowing I'm not escaping anything but experiencing the earth and universe while I have the means and am able. It will never be an escape.

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